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My Journey Into The Catholic Faith
Healing Elaine®: Bridging the Gap Between Medical & Spiritual®
This week I was speaking with a client about their battle with darkness. They'd been into the occult in the past and although they were raised in the Catholic denomination, they had questions about it. And so I asked them - what was it about the occult that was the draw? Typically, the draw for a person is not that they are inherently evil, but that they are incredibly perceptive to the unseen - in which exists both dark and light (Satan and God) energy. My client acknowledged this and I said to them - well if you invert your curiosity in the occult with Catholicism, really what is the fundamental difference for you other than you are now doing it "another way" (God's way)?
More often than not I hear how the church (the lay people in it, even high ranking clergy) has ruined the experience of faith for a person. This is understandable, but it is the work of the devil. We are not faithful to our parish or congregation or said leaders in the way that we are GOD - the creator of all things...so why are we making them GOD by turning away from the one thing that can guide and protect us, in the name of offense/abuse/etc? This is throwing the baby out with the bath water.
Further complicating things for folks who turn away from the one compass that has the ability to clean and embolden them are the perceived rules and regulations and dogma of the church/faith; when expressed by an incarnate human being in the flesh, we are guided through the lens of their experience and ego. When we fail to understand this it is because we are making people our Gods and ignoring the actual scripture - which never requires we fully understand it, but rather defer to it.
In very simple terms for anyone who is perceptive to the unseen, don't you want the right guide for which to navigate such sensitivity? What if your ideas about this guide are all wrong - because of your sensitivity and you are being tampered with by the evil one?
As I outline in my About section which includes The Holy Bible as one of my reading requirements for potential clients, I was raised in the Christian church as a child. I knew nothing of the Catholic faith however, and despite attending endless Bible studies, summer Bible camps, youth group meetings and events, singing in the Church choir and doing the Christmas Pageants, I learned nothing about the "unseen". This was particularly challenging for me as since as long as I can recall I've heard and felt The Holy Spirit. As a child with this gift and the charism of healing I wanted to find others like me.
In my particular Christian denomination I didn't hear or learn much at all about the unseen - I was never warned about the occult, mediums, psychics and so forth; however, I NEVER resonated personally with "channeling" or needing objects to know TRUTH...and for me, my gifts simply meant truth which is eternal in nature versus some "prediction". I fumbled around as a child when I was unfortunately gifted a Ouija board by an atheist relative and I thought this was a way to connect with the unseen which had always been so prevalent to me - both light and dark, but NEVER resonated with darkness as a source of truth. Somehow, I always knew the difference, but my personal path led me to experience both and I would never trade it for the world - it has given me insight and understanding I could never garner through reading or hearing about such.
As a young kid I called the psychic hotline more times than I can recall as I was so hungry to know why I experienced the world a certain way - I felt somewhat alone and I wanted to find the others. Little did I know, that the Catholic faith is about as close to what I was experiencing as possible!
God always knows our heart, even and especially when we do not have a container for certain concepts or experiences. When I began my work with a simple "Elaine" title and later changed it to "Reiki" and "Energy Medicine" my goal was to appeal to a mass audience who was sensitive to the unseen and help them in various ways - from their psyche to their relationships to discovering their gifts in the world and even helping them set up businesses and vet in their hiring processes. I did not want to turn people off with religion, nor was I attending church regularly; even if I had been, in the Christian Protestant or Presbyterian faith, I learned nothing that I can recall about "occult" or perceivably "new age". I do not regret using those terms as they brought me into contact with amazing people whom either lacked a religious background or whom didn't have the containers with which to place certain concepts and experiences. Everything I've done in my life, I have prayed on and asked God to guide me with. I do understand the difference between hearing God and the Devil, and even how God uses the Devil to help us grow as God is the ultimate authority. I asked God repeatedly - before coming out of the spiritual closet in 2011 with Healing Elaine® - if I was allowed to do this work. I prayed on it for years, actually, as I worked quietly and had no idea what "Reiki" even was at that time! I just knew that the degree I'd started in psychology at Northeastern University was collecting dust, and that the dream I had since being a young child was to help others who - like me - were especially sensitive to the unseen realms, was waiting to be realized in a unique way. WHAT TO DO!?? If you've read my blog or seen my interviews you know that God shut down my life until I agreed to do what I've done for the past 15 or so years. When I said "yes" to helping people in the best way I knew how, God turned the lights on immediately. This was no mistake.
However as time went on, I felt the call to incorporate more overtly my Christian faith. Of course before and after every single session (which encompassed HOURS of discussion before I even considered the laying of hands) and while I performed the laying of hands I said the Lord's Prayer, often quietly or silently (just mouthing it) in the presence of someone who may have been intellectually allergic to Christianity. After all, my clients ranged from born again Christians, to Catholics, to Buddhists, to Muslims...since people are so especially sensitive to religion, I wasn't sure how to "invite" people into the faith beyond expressing the same concepts and values I did in every single session since day one. This is the part that I call "God knows our heart" - despite my reluctance and perhaps the client's allergy to a word (Christian) for reasons many of us understand (modern spiritual warfare), I knew that God would lead me down the right road at the right time and in the right container. I always say this: religion is an embodiment not an ideology...and what I mean by that is, I am not a person who can just "choose" to be "X". I'm not fake in that way. It would crush my bones. I would explode into flames to go against my own integrity. And so I waited for God to show me...
A close friend and former client of mine, and I really don't think she will mind me sharing her name here, Cherylle, came to me a few years ago and told me to begin doing my work "in His name". She knew I was a Christian and I struggled with "turning people off" as in my mind the church should INVITE people in...I was also not 100% embodied in my denomination and when I do not have a concrete presentation for what I believe I will wait to share it. I knew Cherylle was right and we both shared a deep Christian faith that came up in our sessions together - it came up in many of my sessions in fact. One time, a very devout Christian woman sent her child to me...when she landed at my office she was afraid of the various statues I had that were antique Chinese figurines and she expressed her concern in deviating from the Christian faith and values. I assured her that I understood and that my disposition was to welcome all people of all faiths so that they may be at ease as they came to understand God. Needless to say that was one of the most rewarding clients I had and the presence of God in each session no matter the container is something I have no words for.
After my conversations with Cherylle I made The Holy Bible a pre requisite for anyone interested in working with me. I already had an understanding of the enemy that I still have yet to meet in any other person with the exception of a few priests I know only from the online world. I've been through things - dedicating the last decade-plus of my life to my consulting and healings with others (putting off major life moves that most have anxiety over in their 20s) - that I've never heard of outside a couple public cases who have a similar seasoning as me. They know the enemy, have met him, but have also faced adversity in this world that is difficult to comprehend; and adversity is how God chooses his soldiers. It was through the researching of these people who seemed to "get it" that I "stumbled" upon the Catholic faith. I know that sounds funny, but it's true.
When I had my adult baptism a few years ago it was in a regular Christian church with an antiquated and beautiful sanctuary tub. While the church was physically beautiful and people went to say words and feel good about themselves, I felt the same thing I felt as a child - something was missing. This time, however, I obviously knew that tempting the devil was not an option (Ouija boards or psychic hotlines)...and so I dug and dug for those who "got it". Enter Catholicism.
Every single session I have ever done has been an exorcism of sorts. Yes I know I am not a priest. I can't be. And I've also heard from priests that some folks have a holy energy that God simply uses through them to scatter the darkness in others. It's not "mine" per se but I've been contending with that my entire life. At the risk of sounding prideful, I had to understand this gift slash curse. This is when the Catholic faith hit my core like nothing ever has. It tied together everything I have ever known and experienced and all that I will. I don't have words to explain the connection, but it was a missing link I never knew was missing until I found it.
When I say that faith aka religion is an embodiment not an ideology I mean it. From the inside out, the routine, the experiences and the dedication is what my soul craved and I discovered in Catholicism simply through looking for experiences that matched my internal core. I would never "choose" something because it sounded right or good, perhaps hence the major delay in discovering the denomination that has been waiting for me. I'm not a bandwagon person either, obviously, so when I announce something or commit to it, it is for good and it's really happened. From the inside out.
On the quest to understand this very palpable battle between light and dark my entire life, and my ability to hear and see and heal, I met others in the Catholic faith who have a similar gift. It is the gift of The Holy Spirit. When people are turned off by the religious words, and understandably so as the assault from media on faith (because the enemy seeks to weaken us), it is because they are working with their mind not their soul. This is always the case in life, when we choose our intellect over our instinct. In any case, walking into Catholic churches the last couple years was not something I imagined myself doing but I found some "others". Perhaps they did not choose my specific vocation, but there was an understanding even without scripture. This, I believe, is what most of us are looking for. We are looking to live "the right way" but honor what we intuitively feel and sense...and the war on faith has ruined that for so many - so many who use darkness to feel at home who would otherwise benefit so much more if the enemy did not color their lens so opaquely.
There are so many attributes of the Catholic faith that I could go on and on about that were natural to me, even when I denied them or went around them (i.e. got drunk, had sex out of wedlock), but I always returned to. While most of my friends in high school and college lived like "regular people" (not of faith), my inclinations were always pure and divine (and if I violated them, they felt like death to me) and I struggled to understand why certain sins seemed to hit me so much harder than those around me. In my adult life I would spend endless years celibate and sober, as if God was preserving me for different things (my work, the right husband). It was hard to relate to folks who lived in constant sin, even though I am a sinner. All of what felt natural to me, in a way I didn't see around me, I found through others who happened to be in the Catholic faith. Not other denominations of Christian - Catholic specifically.
Catholic specifically is such a big deal for me because, simply put, the teachings are what I've been teaching in theory from the beginning but I never knew were such! As I mentioned, some concepts we do no have containers for until we learn the words. This is also where the embodiment part comes in...you can't "think" your way into faith. So, every week now that I attend RCIA to become a confirmed Catholic, no matter the differences in my past or path from everyone else, I feel at home.
The most liberating thing about Catholicism is the unexpected openness of the priests and parishoners. They have a predisposition to the unseen in a way I have never found anywhere else, and that unseen is GOD. Not only do they have the predisposition but rather the desire to know God in the most intimate way. I believe that every person who is not inherently evil, who is dabbling in the occult, is looking specifically for this but they don't know it yet. For the intangible and palpable sensation of The Holy Spirit through this particular denomination is not something I encountered anywhere else except in my work.
I need structure and discipline or I'm not happy. Catholicism has provided that in such a short time, beyond what I already provide for myself which is a lot considering what I've been able to accomplish over the years and despite the personal battles I've faced and that put me in the position to accomplish such. There is no other Christian denomination with this structure.
Ok ok, I know I am sounding like a Catholic ad. That is not my intention, and yes I know very clearly that the PEOPLE in the church do not represent the exact faith itself - only God and The Holy Spirit can offer that. What I'm saying is yes there is rot everywhere, there are arrogant and ignorant priests, even pedophiles and criminals within the church...but we are incarnate and so we will find this EVERYWHERE while we are still living; in fact, I would go so far as to say that the more it exists within the church and a particular faith, the more HOLY that church and faith is - for the devil has to go out of his way to attack it.
Never throw the baby out with the bath water. We are not here living for the people who taint and screw up the message - we are here for the message. What is your message? Where is your heart? Where do you go when you are so sensitive and attuned to all that you can not see that all you want is to find your tribe? Perhaps there is another path to try. After all, you can turn back if you want to.
There is nothing in this world that has improved my life like daily prayer, nothing in my life that has shed light on the tactics of the enemy (darkness, Satan, evil) like that of the Catholic way in this last while. I'm not an escapist by nature, I enjoy being sober in all ways, and my entire being is at its healthiest in a state of truth - even when that truth opposes a particular aspect of me in some way. There is nothing wrong with who we are and who we have been, only in who we resist being which we've always been.
As I take this journey and get stricter with my working requisites, I am experiencing my life expanding and unfolding in new ways. I've also endlessly consulted with pastors and priests about my work, to made addendums and edits to the container, without ever sacrificing what I know in my heart to be true about how God wants me to do things - I learned very long ago that until God shows and tells you how to do a thing, you do not listen to anyone else no matter who they are unless they've already walked your path and you can verify this.
If you are on a wonky path, God knows your heart - but perhaps this article will speak to you and guide you toward a more truthful and more powerful way. I do believe some people were born inherently evil and I have seen this - I don't need a "higher up" to tell me that's not true. Not everyone will have access to the same experiences as they've not taken the same risks or suffered enough to learn what is only acquired through the ultimate surrender to suffering. But for those who were not born inherently evil, there is a compliment to all that you do on this planet that will match your intrinsic moral compass...you can find this in the most ancient scripture there is and decide for yourself whether or not the enemy will have a foothold in embracing it. The embodiment of such a decision will make its way in through your being not your mind - likely at an important crossroad in your life.
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